REVIEW: Wheeler and Coons Deliver a Snappy, Sexy Cabaret Act

BY MICHAEL MUSTO | “What I lack in taste, I make up for in flavor,” announces Jonah Wheeler, a button-cute, mustachioed musical director turned sex worker. “When I was five, the dentist told me to ‘swish’, and I never stopped,” admits John Coons, a soignee nonbinary singer/songwriter in a dress and a metallic necklace, seemingly channeling Roddy McDowall crossed with Jill St. John.

Thus began the real-life couple’s act—Double Indumbnity—which I caught on October 23rd at the Green Room 42’s sleek new NYC hotspot, Hudson Local (in the Ink 48 Hotel, 653 11th Avenue at West 48th Street). Against the venue’s hypnotizing backdrop of rows upon rows of wine bottles, the twosome managed to be both a snappy, smart throwback to the golden age of 1970s gay cabaret and a contempo mix of soul-searching, commentary, torch singing, audience interaction, and sex jokes.

Promised Jonah, “John and I are going to stuff you full of queer joy, like a reverse pinata.” And they did so, with Coons deciding that their act consists of “a sex clown porn star and a gender bending bag of rhinestones.”

Coons wrote the majority of the songs performed, with arrangements by Wheeler (who accompanies on piano), though there were also some mashups of other people’s hits. One such blending of Losing My Mind, Crazy, and Basket Case—vaguely similar to an old Dorothy Loudon combo of Losing My Mind and You Could Drive a Person Crazy—was definitely worth going nuts for.

Another mad mix brought together Abracadabra by Lady Gaga, Abracadabra by the Steve Miller Band, No Good Deed from Wicked, and five other magical songs, from Hanson to Labelle.

A “commercial break” unspooled a short film with the two celebrating the act of fetishizing your old shame, disappointment, and breakups. (“Kinkify it!” is the motto, though Wheeler can barely say it with a ball and chain in his mouth—a very funny gag, as it were.)

Then the tireless Coons went out into the audience and talked to one patron who’s deeply in love (“He makes me laugh and think and cum,” he gushed about his beau) and another whose relationship bitterly broke up in July. Coons asked the latter what advice they’d give to the former and the response was, “If they ask you to go on a romantic trip to Poland, don’t go! It’s a trap!” The weird specificity—and unlikelihood—of that scenario sent the room into hysteria, and Coons admitted they couldn’t really add to it, though the wisecracks did keep coming anyway.

Both stars are super talented, and in different ways, though they blend perfectly for harmony and shared bits. Wheeler talks about some of the evil people on Broadway that prompted him to leave for better lubed pastures. (He says that one such person’s Wikipedia page was taken down because it turned out he wasn’t notable. And Wheeler was the one who reported it!) Coons keeps changing outfits and going from daddy status to a profound appreciation of life’s simple pleasures to urging us to embrace our queer rage (“Find Your Brick”). Best of all, when the two kiss in moments of mutual congratulations, it feels real, not the usual showbiz crap.

There was no encore—we were all satisfied—and Coons left us with, “You are now all 5% sillier and sluttier. Isn’t that great?” Yes!

PS: Wheeler and Coons will next take the show to Toucans Tiki Bar & Cabaret Lounge, Palm Springs, on November 5—and then to Amsterdam Bar & Hall in St. Paul, Minnesota on November 18—and The Newport Theater in Chicago, Illinois on November 19. Lucky them.

MICHAEL MUSTO | Musto is a columnist, pop cultural and political pundit, NYC nightlife chronicler, author, and the go-to gossip responsible for the long-running (1984-2013) Village Voice column, La Dolce Musto. His work appears on ChelseaCommunityNews.com, W42St.com, and other sites. Follow Musto on Instagram, via @michaelmusto.

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