BY CHARLI BATTERSBY | I never liked November 20’s Transgender Day of Remembrance, a day set aside to honor transgender people who’ve been murdered, and trans people who have committed suicide. On this year’s Day of Remembrance, gay and straight allies joined trans activists in City Hall’s Council Chambers for a solemn yet celebratory event. For our allies, this was a time to show their solidarity with their living trans friends. But for trans people who’ve been out a long time, it was about remembering people we knew.
Shortly into the ceremony, Kei Williams, Executive Director of the NEW Pride Agenda, was presented with an award by NYC Council Members Erik Bottcher and Tiffany Cabán, who co-chair the LGBTQIA+ Caucus of the New York City Council. Williams remarked, “Trans Day of Remembrance is always a tender, complicated day for our community.”
“Complicated,” indeed. Many trans people know another trans person who was killed, or who died abruptly and suspiciously. And just about all of us know someone who committed suicide. An acquaintance of mine set herself on fire, and burned to death in a public park a few years ago to draw attention to the problems trans people have with housing discrimination and unemployment.
Complicating things even further: A few years ago, trans people were being murdered by people who aren’t trans, while trans people rarely killed anyone. But the last few years have seen high-profile shootings by people who identify as trans. The scoreboard is starting to even out (not that anyone should be keeping score), and no one should be surprised if “Cisgender Day of Remembrance” soon becomes an irreverent meme.
I spoke with Council Member Bottcher before the formalities began. He told me, “Tonight we are honoring, and remembering, and commemorating the lives lost to anti-trans violence. In our country, the trans community has been targeted in such an unbelievably cruel way, and we’ve seen this throughout history when minority groups were targeted and blamed during times of anxiety. It’s a hallmark of fascist regimes.”
Bottcher, who has been openly gay for the entirety of his time in public service, noted, “We have to stand with trans New Yorkers. Cisgender gays and lesbians need to stand with trans New Yorkers. Because what Trump would like to do is cleave us apart and have the gays and lesbians walk away from trans and gender nonconforming people. We’re not going to let that happen.”
Once the ceremony began, Reverend Yunus Coldman, a transmasculine pastor, delivered the invocation. This element of religion is a rarity for trans events, even though many people earnestly believe that being trans is a spiritual gift. Reverend Coldman reminded the attendees, “We honor the sacred. Trans joy is sacred. Trans resilience is sacred.” He concluded with, “Our existence is a testament of the divine.”
Several trans activists and advocates were honored. These included Miss Peppermint of RuPaul’s Drag Race fame (among many other trailblazing achievements), Nadia Swanson, Director of Technical Assistance and Advocacy at the Ali Forney Center, and longtime advocate Grace Detrevarah, the Senior Health Educator and LGBTQ Liaison at Osborne Association.
Detrevarah cited how even in recent years LGBTQ agencies “would have everything but trans. We have been there the whole time, but there was nothing on paper. There were no programs.”
Her experiences with incarceration gave her a firsthand look at the injustices that trans people face, even from well-intended allies. Detrevarah told the audience, “My career has taken me around this country. It has also allowed me to not make this work look fun. I’m here to make you uncomfortable. I’m not here to just be a part of the L, the G, the B, but to let you know that the T was here the whole time. It’s not about writing wrongs, it’s about just doing the damned work.”
Near the end of the evening, drag performer Harmonica Sunbeam took the stage for a Drag Queen Story Hour performance of Say Something! by Peter H. Reynolds. Several moms in the Council Chamber brought their kids up front for what was a very sweet and tame performance, by drag standards. There are videos online of Drag Story Hour shows which are little more than burlesque performances with kids in the audience, and it isn’t hard to see why conservatives object to those. But at City Hall, Harmonica was fully-clothed throughout, and read aloud from a cute children’s book about the ways kids can express themselves creatively.
There was only one bit of bawdiness. When the book talked about how gardening is a form of self-expression, Harmonica quipped, “I myself tend to hoe a little.” This got a long laugh from the grownups, but the double entendre went over the kids’ heads, of course.
The ceremony ended with NYC Public Advocate Jumanne Williams speaking. Williams said solemnly, “I wanted to take this time to remember not the people we lost, but the people that were taken from us. For just being who they are and trying to live their best lives. So there is a moment of making sure that we remember that. Some sadness and somberness. I want to take a moment to remember that they lived. And they would probably want people to experience joy as well. And it’s actually through the trans community that I learned joy is an act of rebellion, so let’s rebel as hard as we can.”
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